Rachel is a confident lady. She knows her weaknesses and strengths. She embraces challenges, pushes herself out of her own comfort zones, never compares herself to other people, never obsesses over the opinions of others and doesn’t let setbacks get in her way… Running a successful magazine and overcoming two major open-heart surgeries, Rachel is on a mission to help others achieve their best through the skill of confidence…
Confidence is a state of mind. It feeds off a positive attitude towards ourselves and self-efficacy – the belief in your own ability, skills and experience. It grows out of self-esteem – the feeling of well-being and acceptance of your body and mind.
So what happens if you have a lack of self-esteem and low self-efficacy?
In the majority of cases, the problem is often not the lack of it, but the blocking of it. There is no single root cause of low self-esteem, for you it may be intertwined with other areas of life that need tackling on a whole other plane.*
Negative thoughts can be stifling. By locating and rooting out self-erected barriers in your thinking, you can drive away fear – the greatest enemy of self-confidence. Don’t allow yourself to be held prisoner in your own mind – liberate yourself from your own inner fears.
Easier said than done?
It might seem so, especially if you’re locked in your own prison. But remember, you do hold the key.
Let go of all that does not serve you! It is a case of locating your negative thoughts and insecurities and letting them go or eradicating them. You have already given and wasted enough time and energy on them. It’s time to learn and adopt some effective new strategies to transform your life.
Instead of fleeing fear – embrace the unknown. Consider it as an adventure or challenge you have yet to meet and can overcome. We all have fears but if you shift your focus to the reassurance that you will overcome them, fear soon turns into curiosity.
We all do it… It’s the one thing I have learnt to overcome. Faced with regular magazine deadlines, I have no choice but to remain organised and on plan. When I do, I’m ready for the unknown – the blips, the problems, the difficult situations. Getting things done reduces stress and allows you more time to reflect, plan, adjust and complete a task. For me, this aids towards confidence in my job. I know my job well, and I know I have time to rectify any issues that may arise.
I love to hate the Internet! It’s a great tool. It gives us access to so much – too much, one could argue. However, it also opens up a gate to a low-confidence hell – social media!
One thing you can put in to practice right now is to stop comparing your life to others’. Your personal happiness and achievement should only be rated by your own standards; what’s more, the majority of people only post their best bits, their edited lives, which they have no doubt compared to yours! Stop caring about what others are achieving and focus your time on advancing your own goals and dreams, while everyone else is busy doing the same! We are all meant to shine.
Believe in your own abilities:
This is simple and I want to keep it simple.
Identify what you’re good at. What makes you different? Embrace it, celebrate it. This is your ‘go to’ when you’re feeling low. You are unique and have your own mix of talents and skills. Know thyself!
Setting goals is about purpose, focus, motivation and achievement. It is certainly great to aim high, but if you want this to aid in your self-confidence, set small realistic goals and achieve them one by one. This will build your confidence, brick by brick.
Along the way, you will accumulate meaningful accomplishments and become proud of yourself. You can look upon these small steps as victories of success.
Success fuels further success. The more you work on this, the more courage you will gain to tackle new tasks!
Body language and image:
There is no denying that the way you appear in your mind affects your confidence. It’s not about what others think… it’s about what you see in the mirror.
When you hold yourself upright and keep those shoulders back and chin up, you cannot help but feel proud and more positive.
Vintage clothing and style is wonderful. It allows you the opportunity to really embrace your individual style and express the inner you. Wear what you love, not what you think others will love. Only then will you gain confidence through your wardrobe – you are unique, remember?
Integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. Once you have realised your inner strengths – however deeply they are rooted inside – embrace them. Bring them to the forefront. Notice them every time you look in the mirror.
Simply put, I believe if you practise addressing and removing the negatives, the positives will blossom.
Remain true to you. Live your life for you…
Confidence is being who you are!
Confidence – Learn it. Practise it. Master it.
Images: My Boudoir ~ www.myboudoir.co.uk
MUA: Michelle Sisson ~ www.michellesisson.com
Kimono: Sharon Bowen ~ www.sharonbowendesigns.co.uk
*Low esteem can be a challenging thing to overcome. As you tackle these negative beliefs and challenge yourself,
it can feel overwhelming. Talk to friends, a partner, or if you feel distressed, seek support from a professional. Good luck!